1. Failing to read the posted rules Every beach has rules. Clothing optional beaches tend to have more rules. Read and follow carefully. 2. Forgetting a towel Sand + bare butt = bad. 3. Forgetting to sunscreen everywhere Especially on parts that don’t usually, see the sun, if you know what we mean. (And don’t forget to reapply!) 4. Expecting a scene out of Playboy or Chippendales Trust us, nude beaches are only packed with perfect bodies like in the movies. It’s kind of liberating.5. Using a selfie stick It's obnoxious in places where people have their clothes on, so…6. Close talking You don’t like it when people invade your space with clothes on, right? That goes double for a nude beach. Americans prefer 3 feet of personal space in everyday life, so make it 6 when naked with strangers.7. Taking pictures This is not the time or place for Instagram people. 8. Staring Need we explain? Don’t be that creepy guy.
9. Running Even Baywatch babes needed a swimsuit to look good doing this.10. Engaging in PDA When you’re nekkid, everything takes on extra meaning. If you can’t keep your hands off your companion, put your clothes on and move back to the regular beach with all the other gropers. Or get a room.11. Doing yoga poses Don’t subject anyone to certain angles of your naked body. The beach yoga photo for you Facebook page will have to wait. 12. Neglecting to have a bathing suit or cover up handy just in case Food and recreational facilities nearby may have no affiliation with the beach, and may have health codes to obey. Plus, you need to wear something back to the car.13. Being ashamed of your body Going to a nude beach is supposed to be liberating. It’s not about perfection (see no. 4). If you’re going to spend the whole day squirming, it’s not for you.14. Making small talk Conversing with strangers is such a common habit, it’s easy to forget that in this context, not everyone wants to chat. And if you do find someone who wants to have a conversation, look ‘em in the eyes, buddy.15. Going with a brand new friend or significant other TMI, my friends. 16. Bringing the kids. This isn’t France.17. Bending over. Crouch, don’t bend. You don’t want to give everyone more of a view than they bargained for.18. Doing anything that could accidentally cause, um, arousal. This one’s for the guys, obviously. 19. Having no shame. You have to be respectful of the people around you.20. Failing to hydrate Ever see anyone with heat stroke while naked? It’s not pretty.21. Eating snacks with lots of crumbs Again, too many skin crevices, like with sand. 22. Neglecting to groom properly This one’s a personal choice of course, but we think it would be nice. 23.Going with bikini or tan lines It just looks funny.24. Wearing a hat. Or sneakers Maybe it’s just us, but we think it’s just weird to wear nothing but a hat or sneakers and your smile.25. Using a pickup line Unless your ego can withstand the obvious observational comebacks from the now-completely-disgusted object of your (unwanted) affection.26. Behaving differently than you would at any other beach The general rule at a nude beach is to behave normally. So unless your “normal” self is a lewd, gawking, selfie-taking grease ball, strip down and act naturally. It’s what everyone else is there for.
9. Running Even Baywatch babes needed a swimsuit to look good doing this.10. Engaging in PDA When you’re nekkid, everything takes on extra meaning. If you can’t keep your hands off your companion, put your clothes on and move back to the regular beach with all the other gropers. Or get a room.11. Doing yoga poses Don’t subject anyone to certain angles of your naked body. The beach yoga photo for you Facebook page will have to wait. 12. Neglecting to have a bathing suit or cover up handy just in case Food and recreational facilities nearby may have no affiliation with the beach, and may have health codes to obey. Plus, you need to wear something back to the car.13. Being ashamed of your body Going to a nude beach is supposed to be liberating. It’s not about perfection (see no. 4). If you’re going to spend the whole day squirming, it’s not for you.14. Making small talk Conversing with strangers is such a common habit, it’s easy to forget that in this context, not everyone wants to chat. And if you do find someone who wants to have a conversation, look ‘em in the eyes, buddy.15. Going with a brand new friend or significant other TMI, my friends. 16. Bringing the kids. This isn’t France.17. Bending over. Crouch, don’t bend. You don’t want to give everyone more of a view than they bargained for.18. Doing anything that could accidentally cause, um, arousal. This one’s for the guys, obviously. 19. Having no shame. You have to be respectful of the people around you.20. Failing to hydrate Ever see anyone with heat stroke while naked? It’s not pretty.21. Eating snacks with lots of crumbs Again, too many skin crevices, like with sand. 22. Neglecting to groom properly This one’s a personal choice of course, but we think it would be nice. 23.Going with bikini or tan lines It just looks funny.24. Wearing a hat. Or sneakers Maybe it’s just us, but we think it’s just weird to wear nothing but a hat or sneakers and your smile.25. Using a pickup line Unless your ego can withstand the obvious observational comebacks from the now-completely-disgusted object of your (unwanted) affection.26. Behaving differently than you would at any other beach The general rule at a nude beach is to behave normally. So unless your “normal” self is a lewd, gawking, selfie-taking grease ball, strip down and act naturally. It’s what everyone else is there for.
